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If Zombies Attack, Ignore Amazon’s New Terms of Service

10 February 2016

From The Wall Street Journal’s Digits blog:

Amazon.com Inc.’s recently updated terms of service include strict rules around how developers can use the company’s new game-development software. Disregard in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

A quirky opt-out message is buried toward the bottom of the terms and conditions for using Amazon’s Web-hosting service. Number 57.10 says Lumberyard, free open-source software for making videogames, isn’t intended for use with “life-critical or safety-critical systems” such as medical equipment and autonomous vehicles.

Users can ignore that should the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (or a successor body) certify “a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.”

57.10 Acceptable Use; Safety-Critical Systems. Your use of the Lumberyard Materials must comply with the AWS Acceptable Use Policy. The Lumberyard Materials are not intended for use with life-critical or safety-critical systems, such as use in operation of medical equipment, automated transportation systems, autonomous vehicles, aircraft or air traffic control, nuclear facilities, manned spacecraft, or military use in connection with live combat. However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.

Link to the rest at The Wall Street Journal (Link may expire) and thanks to Bill for the tip.

PG is impressed. Most people don’t get past paragraph nine or ten in a TOS.

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8 Comments to “If Zombies Attack, Ignore Amazon’s New Terms of Service”

  1. It’s great but I do wonder if they put it in to see if anyone would actually read that far in the ToS. ;D

  2. I don’t know if I should be impressed or worried that Amazon has thought of this…

    • What, you don’t really think that the Amazon drone development was just for delivering packages, did you? 😀 They’re unmanned anti-zombie weapon platforms. And voice-activated. Alexa said so.

  3. There is a history of… interesting… clauses in TOS and shrink-wrap licenses.

    https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20100416/1201419039.shtml

    That is just about the only clause the rights-grabbing BPHs haven’t added to their contracts.
    Yet.

  4. Wow, what a great week. First, we get Dan Marino, Alec Baldwin easter eggs in the Doritos commercial, and now this.

    The only downer…I have to start reading all of the TOS paragraphs.

    Dan

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