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A Very Good List of Vital Writing Advice — DO NOT IGNORE!

28 February 2017

From Chuck Wendig at Terrible Minds:

Hello, America. I am the Internet’s Chuck Wendig, and contrary to what I usually do on this here Website, I’m going to offer some Vital Writing Advice. I am the recipient of a lot of emails, and between the emails where people are mad at me for ruining Star Wars are the emails where people ask me for advice on buying various chairs and pastries, and in between those emails are the writers who want to know how to write. “Internet’s Chuck Wendig,” they plead, “please tell us the secret that will turn us into Super Mega Ultra Rockstar Writers like yourself.”

. . . .

I will share them with you now, in defiance of the Galactic Author Guild’s autocratic laws. YOUR OPPRESSION ENDS HERE, G.A.G., I AM BRINGING THE TRUTH TO THE PEOPLES.

Quickly now, absorb this information before it is taken down! HURRY

. . . .

3. Also Run Screaming Past Your Self-Doubt. Your self-doubt is a jerk. It’ll jog alongside you, trying to convince you to just stop and lay down and give up. You can’t give up. Keep running. Run faster than your self-doubt. Steal a car. Steal an actual car. Drive fast past it. Then reverse and back over it. Hear the crunch of its bones. That’s what it gets for sassing you.

4. Write What You Know. And what you don’t know, you can always learn. And what you can’t learn, you can always steal from other authors by hitting them with rocks and opening their heads like coconuts. Each writer’s brain is like a fruit containing many seeds, the seeds of knowledge. Kill authors and eat their brains.

5. Don’t use adverbs. Adverbs are witch’s traps.

. . . .

16. When In Doubt, Pterodactyls and Frankensteins. Stuck in your story? Just throw in some pterodactyls and Frankensteins. Always peps up a dull story!

. . . .

20. Molt. When in doubt, shed your flesh. Let your true author spirit emerge from the leavings of your discarded scale and leathery epidermis.

Link to the rest at Terrible Minds and thanks to Angie for the tip.

Here’s a link to Chuck Wendig’s books. If you like an author’s post, you can show your appreciation by checking out their books.

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8 Comments to “A Very Good List of Vital Writing Advice — DO NOT IGNORE!”

  1. Oh this is funny. The comments too.

  2. If adverbs were bad, English would not have them and use them.

    Obviously.

  3. OMG.. I never laughed so hard staring at a screen in my life! The tears are flooding my keyboard and splashing on my feet.

  4. Witch traps. Yes.

    That’s why Jonathan Stroud uses them so deliciously and to such wonderful effect in his Bartimaeus trilogy.

    Please, Lord, give me such witch traps to spellbind my readers.

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