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Much Ado about Lavender

13 September 2017

Mrs. PG is trying to test PG’s blurb powers.

Less than a week ago, the powers that be at BookBub ran a promo for her novel, The Taming of Lady Kate, an event that required PG to write a Katean blurb.

Now, before PG has had time to regenerate his blurbian powers, he is required to write a Lavenderian blurb for Mrs. PG’s newest novella.

Nonetheless, having drunk an extra Coke Zero (the secret source of almost all of PG’s powers), PG sallys forth. Or is it sallies forth?

The internet is singularly unhelpful with respect to sallying forth.

Wikipedia says “In siege warfare, a sortie, or sudden issuing of troops against the enemy from a defensive position, can be launched against the besiegers by the defenders. If the sortie is through a sally port, either to sortie or to sally can be used.”

The discerning reader might ask, “What is a sally port?”

Wikipedia has an opinion about that. “Sallies are a common way for besieged forces to reduce the strength and preparedness of a besieging army; a sally port is therefore essentially a door in a castle or city wall, that allows troops to make sallies without compromising the defensive strength of fortifications”

But why is PG talking about Sally when the book is about Lavender?

Despite what you might think, Lavender is not a parrot. Or a small dog. (Sally is probably a better name for a small dog anyway.)

Lavender is actually the name of a person of the female persuasion. She lives in England. Or, to be specific, lived in England a long time ago.

Unfortunately, like so many of Mrs. PG’s characters, Lavender is dead now but fortunately Mrs. PG wrote a story about her during the time when she was still alive, which means the story is much more interesting than if it were set in the present day at Lavender’s grave.

Lavender likes Shakespeare. This like is platonic, because Shakespeare is dead. Even a long time ago when Lavender was alive, Shakespeare was dead.

To be fair, Lavender mostly likes Shakespeare’s play (written while he was still alive), Much Ado About Nothing.

This raises a question. What is ado?

More internet research discloses that a “do” is connected to the styling of a woman’s hair. Using the term in a sentence, Lavender might say, “I’m going down to Dot’s Salon to get a do. We’ll talk about Shakespeare when I get back.”

But PG digresses.

Lavender doesn’t like Lord Aiken Fairmont very much at first. However, later in the book (presumably after Dot has provided Lavender with some womanly counsel while doing Lavender’s hair), she likes him better.

Although there is no evidence that Dot ever gives Lord Aiken Fairmont a do, he eventually likes Lavender better, too.

Much Ado About Lavender is a novella. PG seems to remember that novella is an Italian word which translates into “no fella” but he hasn’t checked Wikipedia.

Using the term in a sentence, the reader might say, “Unless Lavender gets a new do from Dot before the big ball, novella will want to dance with her.”

Since PG has done so much research, you won’t need to consult Wikipedia while you’re reading Much Ado About Lavender.

The PG’s thank you for buying, borrowing, etc., the book.

Books in General

18 Comments to “Much Ado about Lavender”

  1. It’s a toss-up of whether I enjoy Mrs. PG’s stories or PG’s blurbs more. As a package, they cannot be beat. 🙂

  2. Are you sure you hadn’t had two Coke Zeros (or Zeroes?) before you wrote this? It was wonderfully funny. By the way, I’d vote for “sallies forth.”

  3. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

  4. It seems to me you’ve sallied forth with remarkable humor and panache, PG. And perhaps an entire case of Coke Zero. This calls for a nap!

  5. Have you considered doing an a/b test to see how PG’s blurbs compare (sales-effectiveness-wise) with the official blurbs for these works? I’ve wound up downloading several (some even purchased for actual $$!) on the basis of PG’s blurbs. This, after passing them by based on the official blurbs.

    I should note, however, that Regency-romances-not-written-by-Heyer are not my normal reading material, so my response to the blurbs may be um… I think that “not representative of the target market” is the phrase I’m looking for.

  6. This is awesome. Just yesterday, I used the phrase “Let us sally forth” to test some code in a scripting lesson. I like this use of “sally” much better. The blurbs are always a treat here 🙂

  7. You’ve made my evening, PG!

  8. You are too funny, PG! 😀

  9. PG blurbs are perhaps my favorite snippets here! Mrs. PG must write more books to require more blurbs…!

  10. Very good, PG.

    Just curious – how have things gone with the book that was published through Kindle Scout? Was that worth the effort? And what has been the result of the BookBub promo?

    • Kindle Scout has been a good experience for Mrs. PG, Merrill. Amazon has done a good job with continuing promotions for the book.

      BookBub always performs very nicely for Mrs. PG. Good sales on the promoted book with follow-on sales with other titles in the series.

  11. One click and done! I sincerely hope my hubby provides equally entertaining persuasion when my book finally goes on sale:) And since I’m between books on my Kindle at the moment, I might even get to read it in the immediate future and get a review up.

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