Mrs. PG is trying to test PG’s blurb powers.
Now, before PG has had time to regenerate his blurbian powers, he is required to write a Lavenderian blurb for Mrs. PG’s newest novella.
Nonetheless, having drunk an extra Coke Zero (the secret source of almost all of PG’s powers), PG sallys forth. Or is it sallies forth?
The internet is singularly unhelpful with respect to sallying forth.
Wikipedia says “In siege warfare, a sortie, or sudden issuing of troops against the enemy from a defensive position, can be launched against the besiegers by the defenders. If the sortie is through a sally port, either to sortie or to sally can be used.”
The discerning reader might ask, “What is a sally port?”
Wikipedia has an opinion about that. “Sallies are a common way for besieged forces to reduce the strength and preparedness of a besieging army; a sally port is therefore essentially a door in a castle or city wall, that allows troops to make sallies without compromising the defensive strength of fortifications”
But why is PG talking about Sally when the book is about Lavender?
Despite what you might think, Lavender is not a parrot. Or a small dog. (Sally is probably a better name for a small dog anyway.)
Lavender is actually the name of a person of the female persuasion. She lives in England. Or, to be specific, lived in England a long time ago.
Unfortunately, like so many of Mrs. PG’s characters, Lavender is dead now but fortunately Mrs. PG wrote a story about her during the time when she was still alive, which means the story is much more interesting than if it were set in the present day at Lavender’s grave.
Lavender likes Shakespeare. This like is platonic, because Shakespeare is dead. Even a long time ago when Lavender was alive, Shakespeare was dead.
To be fair, Lavender mostly likes Shakespeare’s play (written while he was still alive), Much Ado About Nothing.
This raises a question. What is ado?
More internet research discloses that a “do” is connected to the styling of a woman’s hair. Using the term in a sentence, Lavender might say, “I’m going down to Dot’s Salon to get a do. We’ll talk about Shakespeare when I get back.”
But PG digresses.
Lavender doesn’t like Lord Aiken Fairmont very much at first. However, later in the book (presumably after Dot has provided Lavender with some womanly counsel while doing Lavender’s hair), she likes him better.
Although there is no evidence that Dot ever gives Lord Aiken Fairmont a do, he eventually likes Lavender better, too.
Much Ado About Lavender is a novella. PG seems to remember that novella is an Italian word which translates into “no fella” but he hasn’t checked Wikipedia.
Using the term in a sentence, the reader might say, “Unless Lavender gets a new do from Dot before the big ball, novella will want to dance with her.”
Since PG has done so much research, you won’t need to consult Wikipedia while you’re reading Much Ado About Lavender.
The PG’s thank you for buying, borrowing, etc., the book.