A List of Demands From Your Roommates, Your Books

From Book Riot:

The world is unfathomable and you, like most people, are spending more time than ever at home. One day you come home from another grocery store run, glasses foggy from breathing heavily into your mask, and there is a note on the counter with your name on it. After you’ve cleared your glasses fog, you realize it is not a note, but a list. The list is titled “OUR DEMANDS. AGREE OR MOVE OUT” and signed “Your roommates.” At first you don’t understand; you thought you lived alone. You look around your apartment, to see if someone moved in and you just didn’t notice. It becomes apparent after a few minutes of head swiveling. Your books surround you on all sides, and suddenly their spines look ominous. How did they write a list? What do they do when you go to the grocery store six times a week and have they been…conspiring against you? Your hands start to shake as you read the list. 

. . . .

1. Do your dishes, especially if you have a habit of mindlessly leaving your dirty dishes on top of your roommates. 

2. Clean up; be considerate of the fact that some of your roommates are prone to dust bunnies. 

3. Open the window when it’s nice, sure, but don’t forget to close it when it’s really hot or especially if it rains. Some of your roommates are very sensitive to temperature and anything but a cool breeze may cause them to wither and age at 800x their normal rate. Be respectful. 

4. Be considerate of common areas. Don’t just leave your things sitting out wherever. Especially if your “things” are candles that you leave burning for hours very near your roommates, who are more flammable than you!! 

Link to the rest at Book Riot

1 thought on “A List of Demands From Your Roommates, Your Books”

  1. I’m afraid that my roommates also demand attention. Quietly. One at a time.

    And some of them demand to be fondled. The fine art books, in particular. Now knock it off, you dirty-minded people! It’s not all nudes!

Comments are closed.