Habits

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From Live to Write – Write to Live:

I’ve been thinking about habits a lot lately.

  • What is a habit?
  • How do we create “good” habits?
  • How do we get rid of “bad” habits?
  • And one question specifically for my writing life: Can I be a successful writer without habits?

My reflexive answer to that last question is, “No, I can’t.”

But that’s just me. Turns out, there are a number of people—successful, happy, creative people—who avoid habits like I avoid onions (that is, like they might kill me. (They won’t, I just really don’t like them.))

In the dictionary I found this definition of a habit: An acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.

There are a lot of actions I’d like to take in my life in a “nearly or completely involuntary” way.

So, there are a lot of habits I’d like to create.

I already have a lot of habits; some of them do not serve me. Those I would like to change.

. . . .

“A habit is a formula our brain automatically follows: When I see a CUE, I will do ROUTINE in order to get a REWARD.”

. . . .

Gretchen Rubin, in her book, Better than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, talks about the importance of habits: “Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life. We repeat about 40 percent of our behavior almost daily, so our habits shape our existence, and our future. If we change our habits, we change our lives.”

Link to the rest at Live to Write – Write to Live

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10 thoughts on “Habits”

  1. There is a book by Charles Duhigg called “The Power of Habit” which is pretty interesting. It helps outline how to establish good habits as well as breaking bad habits. But it also has a lot of interesting case studies that illustrate how our habits direct our lives.

  2. When i was trained to be a UPS driver, they said it took 40-50 repetitions to form a habit. Based on my experience driving for them, that’s a reasonable number.

    They were looking to build the habits necessary for safely operating a big parcel-delivery truck; things like watching overhangs, constant attention to your mirrors, parking so you didn’t have to back up, thinking ahead in traffic – looking down the road to see what was going to come, because the trucks had a power lag and you never wanted to have to start from a halt at a light.

    The 40-50 reps works for me, as a of practicing until the act become ‘unconscious’… I no longer have to think about doing it. I wouldn’t call that involuntary, perhaps unconsidered?

    As for the article, I thought it was an interesting quiz, though it puts me in the Rebel category, but I found some of the questions could have gone either way. Maybe I’ll take it a ferw more times and average my results…

    All you folks talking about INTJs got me interested in seeing where I stand on that.

    I come out different on different versions of the test… this time I’m an ISTP (-A, -T), the ‘Virtuoso’ or ‘Craftsman’ type, of the two I prefer the craftsman handle. I AM a troubleshooter, I like to make things or fix things, I prefer to be left to handle a bunch of projects on my own, tend to be logical and blunt and standoffish, but okay in public speaking where I have a purpose. And, unfortunately, I do tend to butterfly from project to project unless I have an outside spur to keep on track.

    Good for my current job (and its funny how much of it fits ALL my jobs, I guess I DO have a pattern), but not so good for writing. I am not the tortoise of writers, I sort of sputter out product in bursts. That’s okay when I’m juggling multiple reports or projects, but not so good when I’m only working on one at a time.

  3. This was interesting.

    I followed the link on the OP to Gretchen Rubin’s website (author of Better than Before) and took her quiz, which concluded with a summary of the four personality types that she’s identified as pertinent to habit formation.

    The Upholder: meets both outer and inner expectations.

    The Questioner: resists outer expectations, and meets inner expectations.

    The Obliger: meets outer expectations, and resists inner expectations.

    The Rebel: resists both outer and inner expectations.

    I tested as a Questioner. Somehow that surprised me, although it shouldn’t have. When I read the explanation, I could see it made sense.

    Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe it’s justified, so in effect, they meet only inner expectations.

    Once Questioners believe that a particular habit is worthwhile, they’ll stick to it—but only if they’re satisfied about the habit’s soundness and usefulness. They resist anything arbitrary or ineffective; they accept direction only from people they respect.

    Questioners may exhaust themselves (and other people) with their relentless questioning, and they sometimes find it hard to act without perfect information.

    I don’t need perfect information, but the more of it I have when facing decisions, the happier I am. It does explain why I have such success in creating new, desirable habits after I’ve researched an issue and determined what I want to do.

    • Huh. That description fits me. I ignore arbitrary rules and expectations. But convince me of the underlying principle behind a rule or habit and I’ll go with it.

      The other personality test I’ve taken indicates I’m an INTJ, but I reject the “mastermind” nickname for that personality — I can’t be bothered to try and take over the world — I’ll go with “Questioner.” It seems way less sinister 🙂

      It so happens that I’m in the middle of pondering how to set up certain writing habits right now so this is a timely post.

      • I’m an INTJ also. I hadn’t heard the type categorized as a “mastermind,” and I’ll reject it right along with you. 😀 I’ve seen descriptions that indicate that INTJs will step up to leadership (and do a good job of it), when leadership or competent leadership is lacking in a situation. I agree with that!

        I went looking for a site about INTJs that I read a while ago that had good information, but couldn’t find it. I did find another site on INTJ women that had some interesting new-to-me points.

        https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/INTJ-women-A-rare-Myers-Briggs-Category

        I liked this point about authority:

        If the president ordered an INTJ to do something and five minutes into doing it, the INTJ discovered that it wasn’t going to work, she would have no issue with changing the plan and going ahead without consulting the powers that be. Even if she knew that the change of plan wouldn’t be very popular and might cost her her job, she would still go ahead and change the plan. That’s because INTJs believe that what they’re doing is right.

        Are INTJs right?

        Yes. Predominantly.

        If authority tells them that they are on the wrong track or that they should back off, and the INTJ feels that the boss is not right, the INTJ will simply ignore authority and go right on doing what they are doing. This makes them immune to corruption because they are not concerned with either what people think of them or what rewards they get. They are concerned with what will get the system working.

        INTJs have little respect for authority. It’s another point in their favour that ensures that they will do what is right. Ninety-six percent of humanity (as Milgram showed shortly after WWII) will do something instructed by authority even when they know it’s wrong. An INTJ will not.

        INTJs are rare in that while they know what they know, they also know what they don’t know. Ask most people a question and there will always be an answer, even if they don’t know what they are talking about. Ask an INTJ a question and they will either give you the right answer or they will say, “I don’t know.”

        I also found this point about privacy interesting. It explains some reactions that one or two people have had to me in the past.

        INTJs are the most private of all the different types. As most women tend to share virtually everything of their private lives with other females, the INTJ female runs into difficulties. She will not discuss her private life, gossip about other people, or reveal much about herself to others. Other women take this as a sign of unlikability because, generally, the only reason a woman won’t speak to another woman is because she is disliked. In the case of the INTJ, this is not so. They are just deeply private people and won’t share with many people, friends or foes.

        I have learned to be a little more open, over the years, but I’ll admit that my instinct is to stay silent about my inner life, especially if it’s an aspect that is central to me.

        • Another INTJ here. And that fits me to a T. Cooperative with leadership when it’s doing the right thing, but stubborn when it isn’t. When there’s a task to be done, the task gets priority over the means.

        • Thanks for the link; several of these traits she mentions is news to me, too. I am feeling way less peculiar right now. Downright normal even 🙂

          I can attest to the president scenario coupled with the underlying “not respecting authority.” This trait actually saved me a couple of times at work, and both times it was because I was adhering to a larger principle. Fortunately the higher ups who had tried to nag me to make the wrong decision — I say “tried” because I was serenely ignoring them — later gave me kudos when it turned out I was completely right (and saved them from public embarrassment in the process). And if that trait is rare, it does explain why a few of them thought it was remarkable that I resisted their pressure.

          I get exactly where you’re coming from about privacy. I never even like to share problems unless I believe the person I’m talking to will help me come up with a good strategy. I will consider what you said about being more open; it’s definitely a concept I will have to talk myself into.

          The example of the pregnant woman and the end-of-the-world cracked me up. My mother always said that “Crying never solved anything,” and I’d definitely prioritize saving the world so the lady could live long enough to give birth, even if her feelings were hurt. It’s probably why I identify more with Mr. Spock sometimes 🙂

          This article gives me a lot to ponder, particularly as it could help me figure out a new approach with some people in my day-to-day life. Thank you for sharing!

          • The scenario with the pregnant lady and the end of the world made me laugh, too. 😉 (My own tendency is to get down to business straight away. I have learned to start with at least one social amenity, in most cases, however. I still feel awkward, like I’m being phony, but others generally appreciate it and respond better, so it is a wise move. And I feel less awkward as soon as they make evident their appreciation. I do care, but my priority is getting the job done well and promptly.) Glad you found the article helpful, Jamie. It definitely had several take-aways for me.

      • Jamie, I want to thank you for responding to my comment upthread. Your remarks sparked a line of thinking this morning (while I wrote in my journal) that I found very fruitful indeed – giving me new angle on something that had puzzled me for decades. 😀 I love it when I suddenly understand something that has been baffling me.

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