The Jewel in the Spam Bucket
All bloggers learn about spam comments.
Passive Guy doesn’t know if anyone else checks their spam folder, but he does. Once in a while, he finds a legitimate comment that somehow triggered the spam hound’s defensive instincts and brings it back from the dead.
In the process of checking the spam yesterday, PG found a comment, clearly spam, but demonstrating a distinctive style. Since the day had not been packed to the brim with amusement, PG found it amusing and thought you might as well.
The crux of your writing whilst sounding reasonable initially, did not really sit properly with me after some time. Someplace within the paragraphs you actually were able to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I however have got a problem with your leaps in logic and you might do well to fill in those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I would definitely end up being impressed.
, Amazon will pay Passive Guy a small affiliate commission on any of your purchases. 
Oka-a-a-y. . .
I’ve read self-written wills that made more sense.
I bequeath the spotted cow by the dead tree to my cousin Jim.
I think that’s a quote from one of my rejection letters.
Patricia – LOL! If I received a rejection letter that said as much as PG’s spammer, I might think someone actually read my submission!
My spam box can be hilarious. I always read through the messages. The most recent funny: “If you want to git red, this is how you shuold rite.” Now that sounds more like my rejection letters!
I once got a rejection letter that said I was just having a love affair with my typewriter. (Well, it WAS a cute typewriter: baby blue manual circa 1940.)
Patricia – I hope you’ve managed to transfer your affections to an attractive and caring computer.
LOL … Several. I’m such a slut.
Return LOL.
I’ve gotten comments like that, too. What do they think they’ll accomplish with that?
Earn a nickel on Mechanical Turk.
Really? Clearly spam? Geez. My spam’s mainly about getting more traffic to my website, secrets to bigger body parts, offers to give me zillions of dollars from some princess somewhere, and how to get whiter teeth. Clearly you’re the winner.
Jennifer – This a highly-curated selection from my spam folder.
lol, I look through the spam folder on my site from time-to-time for such gems, too. In fact, I posted about that two weeks ago! I had a top-ten list of pellucid, nonsensical entries.
Your post prompted me to look in my spam folder, good thing too! It had eaten a few friend requests from twitter. Thanks!
While it is true that a certain level of ambiguity can lead to the right kind of relationship establishment, any other kind of approach will frequently turnip v1agr@ pr0n we!ghtl0$$ peN!$ SE0 from Ind!$.
But FIRSTNAME, that’s why we’re here to help.
You certainly have the style down cold, Judd.
I have a lot of practice. I also occasionally write back (www.juddhole.com), for no one’s amusement but my own, and it causes me many, MANY giggles.
I’m actually working on a short story where a spammer gets an attack of conscience and starts sending out messages of hope, love and peace and eventually makes the world a better place before he’s crushed to death by a toppling stack of c!alis boxes.
I did a doubletake on that — wendigo pens?
[...] about being all writery and such, it's still good value for those that aren't keen on novelling. Today he posted about spam, and I thought I'd share some of my responses to spams I've gotten over the [...]
Absolutely love it. Too funny, especially since I’d posted a short blog on “Flash Fiction” and mentioned my flash, “Spam Fiction” as an example. I hope I’m not too bold in providing a link for your enjoyment: http://www.everydayfiction.com/spam-fiction-by-lyndon-perry/
[...] have recently had The Jewel in the Spam Bucket 1 and Spam Bucket 2 with lots of excellent comments, so spam is on PG’s [...]