From House of Geek:
Well, we have a home now. What does this mean? Has it been a struggle? What’s going on?
Well, a lot of things have been going on since my father has passed. Yes, we are living with mom now, and so much more.
As you would probably expect, it’s had its ups and downs. There are songs I can’t listen to without losing it and becoming a blubbering fool. There are good days and bad days. We’re all taking it one day at a time.
Mom…
She has admitted a lot. The first thing she has admitted is that she misses dad more than she thought she would. I didn’t say anything when she admitted this. This year would have been fifty years they’ve been married. OF COURSE, she’s going to miss him and every annoying thing she said he did.
She has also admitted she needs a grief counselor. She’s fighting depression every day. I know because of the music she’s playing out of the tv. She’s had some really bad days. She’s been fighting the urge to dive head-first into booze and not come out. She’s doing good on that front.
ADHD, Mom, my schedule, and me
Yup, that’s been a challenge as well. I will plan out my workday only to have mom make her own and include me without telling me until the day she’s got to do anything.
So, I started asking her if she had anything planned to do so I can work it into the day. She will tell me of appointments, but not errands. She will say she’s got errands to do and then volunteer me to drive.
There’s that. Now, I have to keep an ear open to see if she’s planning on doing anything that involves leaving the house and me lightening my load.
I have no clue what she’s going to do when I find a part-time remote-work job. Can’t drop everything to take her everywhere then.
My focus makes me irritated when she does that. So, I have to take a break and a deep breath as I try to refocus. I am trying not to make it difficult for her. She’s going through enough already.
Did I mention I’ve had the first COVID stab? No, well there you go.
Fighting it with humor.
Yup, I can’t help it. I have to crack a joke or two just to break the tension. Here are some things that I came up with to make mom chuckle.
She has chocolate with booze in it, and she loves extra sharp cheddar, always has it in the house. “Would we like our evening cordial and medicinal cheddar this evening?” Said in a goofy, over-the-top British accent.
Whenever she mentions there’s mail for dad, I respond with, “We’ll forward it to the seance department.”
I have nicknamed the CR-V Bessy and I tell her to “whoa” when we have to stop in the snow.
Those are just a few of them.
Link to the rest at House of Geek