Three-Step Crisis Management for the High-End Karen

From The New Yorker:

A 30-ish white woman calls the police on an 8-year-old black child selling water “illegally” on the sidewalk. Pure Karen. You’ve probably seen the name “Karen” bandied about a lot lately. She is a meme popularized over the past few years.—The Los Angeles Times.

So someone caught you on camera, aggressively not minding your own business. What now? Our crisis-management firm will walk top-drawer Karens like you through these three simple action items in response to this unforeseen incident.

Step One: Erase

Immediately scrub the crap out of your social-media accounts. Delete your Twitter, your Instagram, your LinkedIn, your Facebook. That way, your enemies and/or the media cannot find more incriminating evidence of your Karenness. Also, they will not have a ready-made Venn diagram of your affiliates to badger into making your life even more miserable than it currently (clearly) is.

Step Two: Apologize

Immediately issue our patented Karen Redemption Script: “I sincerely and humbly apologize to everyone, and especially to [_________], for my shameful behavior, which was caught on camera. The video was unacceptable. I humbly and fully apologize to everyone who’s seen the video and been offended. I also apologize deeply and humbly to everyone who now sees me in a lesser light. I understand why they do. When I think about law enforcement in America, I realize that I am such a blessed, privileged white person. I’ve come to understand, especially after the uproar over the video, that the police are not my personal protection agency. With great sadness, I have come to comprehend that there are so many people in this country who don’t have the luxury that I had of calling the police. I am not a racist. I do not foster any ill will in my heart toward [_________]; I was just scared because of where I was. When you’re alone in [_________], you don’t know what’s happening. My behavior is not excusable. It’s not defensible. I reacted emotionally and made false assumptions about [_________] and his/her intentions. I should have minded my own business. The last forty-eight hours have made me a better person, and definitely not a racist. This incident has taught me that my actions were those of someone who was not aware of the damage caused by being uninformed and naïve to racial bias.”

Link to the rest at The New Yorker (you’ll probably hit a paywall)

8 thoughts on “Three-Step Crisis Management for the High-End Karen”

  1. There can be a price paid for targeting a “Karen”.

    Digilante | 2016 (HD)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjUakQYKdPw

    In 2012, filmmaker Mike Nayna uploaded a shaming video that sparked international media attention, resulted in two jail terms and inspired a surprise spate of copycat incidents. But while the narrative of good conquering prejudice played out on computer screens around the world, a far more complex and morally ambiguous story was taking place.

  2. The WP recently stirred a teapot tempest over an article about a private, non-employee, at a minor staffer’s Halloween party from years ago. The ruckus was enough they had to publish a piece explaining why it was oh so important to call out this nobody and get her fired.
    The WP piece is paywalled but there is no shortage of handwringing from both sides.
    Like:
    https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/washington-post-opens-new-front-in-the-cancel-culture-wars

    Of minor amusement, the victim was just trying to burnish her “proper thinking” credentials.
    No clean hands on either side, just fools and idiots.

    Joseph McCarthy must be laughing, wherever he might be.

    • I read the article and related comments from other papers. Yikes!

      If you go to Mike Nayna’s YouTube page he has the starting videos that he is doing to chronicle much of the witch hunts going on today.

      I have yet to start a Story folder about any of this, because “fiction” needs to make sense, and none of this stuff does.

      When The Three-body Problem by Cixin Liu came out I read it to see what all the excitement was about. The book started out well, detailing the Cultural Revolution. That was terrifying and similar to the SJW BS today. As I read the book I saw that there was no actual SF story, that was “cover”, a McGuffin, to hide the the commentary about what happened during the Cultural Revolution. That’s what the actual story was about.

      As a kid, I always wondered how The Terror, McCarthyism, actually worked, then I lived through the jingoistic BS after 9/11 and the Bush Wars, then I finally understood. Twenty years later we now have the “Woke”.

      – Here we go again.

      Thing is, I still have nothing to add to a Story folder.

          • Depends on your genre interest.
            SF allows for cautionary tales or, as you pointed out, veiled sociological commentary.

            David Weber’s HONORVERSE books are actual SF, with real plots and complex characters that among other things, offers up a cautionary tale of how a shining democracy can devolve into a mob-misruled dystopia. His People’s Republic of Haven arises from the exact scenario created by today’s Jacobins so he saw this coming 30 years ago.

            L. Neil Smith did a trilogy of an alternate world semi-utopia where Libertarianism squelched statism early in US history (The Whiskey Rebellion succeeded), starting with THE PROBABILITY BROACH. Amusing series in a semi-anarchical society dealing with Hamiltonian statist conspiracies.

            Plenty of other examples exist in SF if you’re of a mind to explore the idea of a democracy devolving into dystopia. That’s one of the features of the genre, allowing free rein to speculation and commentary. If you’re indeed interested in taking tbat road, here’s a thought to play with: “Actions breed reactions”.

            Don’t limit yourself to what is happening. Consider what might follow. Plenty of story fodder down tbat road. One person’s utopia is the next’s dystopia, after all.

            • I think I’m beginning to see my problem, why I can’t visualize all the nonsense happening lately. Why I can’t see creating a Story folder.

              – It’s because I see it as “nonsense”.

              Robert Anton Wilson talked about “embracing” a belief, completely, with no irony or doubts. Once he understood it fully, he would do the same for the next belief, and the next, and the next.

              Then you have David Brin, who takes incoherent Space Cadet babble and turns it into coherent Story.

              I read his stuff from the beginning, but never understood what was going on. It was only when Existence came out that I read Earth again, and I saw what he was doing. I would read his stuff and say, “You can’t do that!” and yet, he did!

              I have no problem embracing the *White Queen’s concept of believing six “impossible” things before breakfast. What I have trouble with is embracing “nonsense”.

              What’s ironic about that, is that Alice is intended as “nonsense”, yet I have no problem believing six “impossible” things before breakfast.

              I need to work on embracing “nonsense”.

              Thanks…

              *Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said: ‘one CAN’T believe
              impossible things.’

              ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was
              your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve
              believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes
              the shawl again!’

              • That would do it.

                Things that look like nonsense to somebody grounded in history but it is gospel to some. (“Canceling” the first Progressive? Founder of american environmentalism and antitrust? It must be the *father* thing)
                And if you play with potential effects, reactions, or just necessary rationalizations, there can be stories to come. Just not necessarily pretty or happy ever afters. (You ever run into CALIPHATE? Not a world anybody would want to visit. But it has its points. Actions -> reactions. Everybody loses.)

                Not every story needs to be grounded in mundane reality. Unless it needs to be. Your choice.
                Of course, you’re going to need a bigger hard drive… 😉

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