Thursday January 1st

This content has been archived. It may no longer be accurate or relevant.

Thursday January 1st BANK HOLIDAY IN ENGLAND, IRELAND, SCOTLAND AND WALES These are my New Year’s resolutions:

I will help the blind across the road

I will hang my trousers up

I will put the sleeves back on my records

I will not start smoking

I will stop squeezing my spots

I will be kind to the dog

I will help the poor and ignorant

After hearing the disgusting noises from downstairs last night, I have also vowed never to drink alcohol.

Opening lines from The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4